How many times have you heard something along the lines of, “There is no medal for having a natural birth,” or “Don’t be a hero—have an epidural/scheduled c-section/other intervention of choice”?
Well, it occurred to me yesterday as I was on the return leg of my after-work run, that one reason I loved giving birth to my first child with no pain medications was that when all was said and done, I did feel like a hero. Not because giving birth unmedicated made me superior to other women: not in the slightest. This is not about relative judgments. Rather, I felt like I’d just beaten my own personal best—I did something that, going in, I wasn’t at all sure I could do, and that turned out to be much harder work than I’d ever imagined. (They don’t call it “labour” for nothing, let me tell you.) The feeling I had after giving birth was something like the feeling I get when I run faster or further, when I lift heavier weights or increase my endurance so I can do more reps: stronger and more powerful than I’d ever been before.
And, yes, heroic. I know that millions of women give birth unmedicated all over the world. It’s utterly common. But it’s still a big deal for each and every individual woman, just like each and every baby is a big deal for an individual family, despite the fact that there are 7 billion of us crawling around all over this little planet.
I’d argue that every birth is heroic. Every woman who gives of her body in that way, who grows and births a child, is doing something fundamentally heroic and worth honouring. At our last ICAN meeting, we talked about the idea of “cesarean courage.” Pushing your body to its limits, bringing your child into the world safely with only your own labour (in both senses) to thank is an amazing, empowering experience. And putting your body on the table—telling a doctor who you may not ever have even met before, yes, cut me open, bring my baby into this world, whatever you have to do to me in the process is collateral damage—may feel anything but empowering at the time, but is actually an incredible testament to a woman’s strength in a time of crisis, and to her willingness to do whatever it takes to save someone else’s life. I’m not sure there’s a better definition of heroism than that.
There are many different ways to feel empowered by birth. This Empowered Birth Week, I’m thinking of all the women I know who have shared their birth experiences, and shown their incredible strength as they birth naturally, as they birth after induction, as they consent to life-saving interventions, as they fight back against a system that causes needless problems during their births, as they stand up to their own fears to birth their babies safely, as they birth their babies and then watch them struggle in the NICU, as they birth their babies in the comfort of their own homes, as they give birth in custody, as they birth babies for other families, as they birth in as many different circumstances as there are different women. None of them will get medals (although my mother did get me a really beautiful engraved watch after Clea was born), but all of them, each and every one, embodies a unique kind of power that deserves both celebration and respect.